Spinning wheels.

Kids are hard. I get it. Several months ago I was complaining about how difficult my children are (every single one of them) and my friend said, "Oh, ALL kids are difficult." I tried to overlook the fact that she was minimizing my problems, because indeed, every parent has struggles with their children. But I was also surprised by the comment, particularly since she had to call me to pick up my completely berserk child from Joy School on one occasion. Regardless, I took it to heart, reminding myself that since I have never been a fly on a wall in someone else's home or walked in another mother's shoes, I really can't measure the level of "difficult" in my daughters when compared with another's children.
But then I started thinking about it. About why I feel my children are almost too much to bear at times. And here are a few conclusions I've come to:

1. My kids are difficult because I am a good mom, and they are still rotten. I read parenting books, I study the gospel, I pray for answers to various parenting dilemmas, and I proceed with patience and optimism. I spend time with my kids - I teach them values, academics, practical skills. I rarely, if ever neglect them for my own personal desires. I suppose I thought that there should be some sort of payback for the amount of energy I expend on their behalf. But maybe I should just come to terms with the fact that input does not necessarily equal output. But here's my point again - some people have rotten kids and could pinpoint some serious deficiencies in their parenting that contribute to said rottenness. Others have easy kids no matter what they do. Don't get me wrong - my kids are wonderful in SO many ways. But they are also little stinkers - A LOT. And I can't blame it on bad parenting because man, I'm trying. Trying HARD.
2. My kids are difficult because there are some funky genetics at play. Tim and I are great complements to each other. We are an awesome team. But our traits do not manifest themselves nicely in our children. They've got stubbornness, idleness, sometimes irrational emotions, perfectionism and a tendency to hold grudges - all their father's traits. They've also got pride, flaring tempers, fear of failure, contention and intolerance - my traits. Sure, they also inherited some seriously awesome traits from the both of us, but we're not talking about that right now. I'm complaining, remember?
3. My kids are difficult because they're pretty darn close together in age. Having four kids in less than six years is madness at times. I thought that as we emerged from the pregnant/nursing stage that life would settle down a bit. Nope. They're just as demanding as ever.
4. My kids are difficult because they are all girls! So you know how when a woman lives with another woman for an extended period of time, their menstrual cycles synchronize. Picture PMS in little girls ages 2 to 7. It's nuts, I tell you. Then there's the added bonus that although they have many of the characteristics of being female - they also exhibit energy levels akin to little boys. They love dirt, destruction, bouncing, running and, in some cases, hitting too.

Okay, I'm done with the rant. I've had an insanely busy few months and am grasping for some measure of success amidst the tumult of obligations I can't seem to balance adequately. But there you have it. My kids are talented, smart, capable, sweet, affectionate, sensitive, creative and happy. Today, though, I'm wishing they were mild-mannered, obedient, reverent and grateful, too. In the meantime, I'll just keep spinning my wheels, I guess.