Several weeks ago, there was an article circulating social media sites bemoaning how every single holiday has become over-the-top, an opportunity to delight our kids with one activity or gift after another while sacrificing precious sleep, spending inordinate amounts of money, and jumping through every hoop known to man just to provide our children with limitless wonder and excitement. I liked the article. I really liked it. So, it was to my surprise that, within days, I found on my newsfeed a response to the original post decrying the author as judgmental for criticizing moms whose creativity demands fulfillment by celebrating each and every holiday in true Pinterest-form. Indeed, such moms are the stuff Pinterest is made of. The author of the second blog post indicated that she, in fact, is not overly creative but that she admires such moms and anyone who doesn't is acting out of some underlying inferiority complex. (I'm sure she didn't say that exactly, but that was the gist of it).
So here's the problem. First of all, I must have read the original article with entirely different eyes. I didn't see a mom who was attacking other moms for using their talents. I saw a mom who disagreed with the practice of "normalizing" picture perfect St. Patty's Day (and other insignificant holiday)celebrations, as if they are something to strive for, when they should be an isolated case, as they once were. The truth is, social media has talked us all into thinking that making everything fun and exciting for our kids is a desirable outcome. It isn't. Yes, childhood is full of wonder and imagination and creativity, but kids can achieve that easily without needing their parents to overdo every occasion. In fact, that often breeds entitlement.
I'm not saying that we can't create Pinterest-worthy celebrations for our children, ever. I just think that there needs to be balance so that our kids don't get some mistaken idea that we live and breathe to indulge their every fantasy. My kids are probably disappointed in me, a lot. I resisted the urge to cave to Anna's guilt trip a few weeks ago when she said that "all the kids whose grandparents don't get to come to school on Grandparent's Day get Subway for lunch". First of all, not true. And even if it were, why can't we just let kids be disappointed sometimes? I'd hate to set them up for an adult life packed with disappointments because I'd given into every whim during their younger years. It's okay for life to be ordinary sometimes. And extraordinary at others. The beauty lies in the contrast. Let's not tip the scales too far in one direction so that our children have an unrealistic vision of what life is really about.
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2 comments:
Every once in a while these days I actually look at blogs :) and am very glad I did! I haven't read the article you refer to, but I totally agree with what you're saying here. The thought that came to my mind as I read this is to 'keep life simple.' Simplicity is a lost art these days but makes life a whole lot more enjoyable.
By the same token, I was telling Joe the other day how holiday candies and decor hit the stores sooner and sooner every year (I think the stores here had Valentine's on the shelves before Christmas was even over). One day I think we'll go to the stores and find candies and decor for every holiday, 365 days a year! Crazy.
So I must preface this by I saying I definitely am not a pinterest Mom. We celebrate St. Patty's by hopefully finding a green shirt in the closet. But I did find her article a little too far to the other side. She argued that that going to Disneyland wasn't a great memory, but when I went I thought it was the most magical time with my family ever and appreciated it. I don't think traditions have to be as spartan as she suggested. I think its more like what you wrote- some things are simple, others if you want or have time can be "pinterest worthy".
While I do agree some people go overboard I also think- to each their own. If someone loves to make things an over the top production- great. If you don't- fine too. I just get touchy when one type of Mom's (on either side) starts to condemn the other, which I felt she did a bit in her article. It just bugs me a little bit when people who take the 'keep it simple' approach are critical of those that don't and same to the other side.
I certainly don't feel guilty that my last kid's birthday cake had purple frosting that looked more like gray gloop and a handwritten happy birthday that looked like it was written by a first grader, but I also don't roll my eyes in disgust when we go to someone one's lovely, well decorated birthday party either. We'll see how I feel as my kid's get older and start to complain though :)
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