I can do hard things.

We've got a procrastinator in the house. I have an opinion on procrastination: most people who procrastinate are either too busy to complete everything on their plates on time, or they simply don't like doing anything they don't enjoy and therefore, put those things off until they must do them (if ever). And let's face it, we've all got a little of that in us.

My little procrastinator falls into the latter category. She is smart. So smart. As in, we sat down yesterday and figured out the area (in inches) of four rooms in our house. After demonstrating 3-digit multiplication to her only twice, she completed the next two problems by herself. She's eight. When I acted impressed that she had caught on so quickly, she simply said, "Mom, it is so EASY!"

Which brings me to my point. I worry about my "gifted" child (of which I have four, but we're focusing on the oldest right now) because she gets frustrated when things aren't easy for her. She fears failure so much that she'd just rather throw in the towel than push through and complete a difficult task. Consequently, she lacks confidence because she's rarely accomplished anything that required major exertion (mostly mental) on her part. Ah, it must be tough being a genius.

For instance, piano. She's actually rather good at it. But no child prodigy. She's supposed to practice every day. It's tedious. I don't allow her to listen to a song before she tries to attack it - I'm trying to train her to sight-read instead of relying on her ear as I did for so many years. Her ear is already good, we're trying to do what's hard, remember?

Yesterday, after 10 straight days of not practicing (and losing many, many privileges) I asked why she resists so much. Her reply: "I don't like it." I then launched into the "so should we only do the things we like?" lecture and she countered that I'm trying to force her to do something uncomfortable, and I came back that I'm trying to help her develop character, I couldn't care less if she becomes a piano virtuouso....blah, blah, blah. Back and forth, back and forth. Two hours of a power struggle while I folded laundry and picked strawberries until finally she relented, plopped her skinny rear end on the piano bench and plucked out a couple of unfamiliar tunes.

I'm not sure what to do about this daughter. I want her to be happy. I know that being happy isn't just doing what we like - in fact, in many cases it is the opposite - it is a job well-done, it is growth and learning, it is accomplishing a seemingly insurmountable goal, it is knowing that you are of worth when you don't get things right the first time. This is what I desire for her. Admittedly, being the oldest child (and guinea pig) she gets the short end of the stick because we are harder on her than the others. Can I claim ignorance for my parenting blunders? Perhaps insanity? Anyway, I'm not sure how hard to push when it comes to helping my kids develop character. Maybe you experienced parents out there can clue me in a bit.

Oh, and remind me to tell you about the time I ran through a barbed-wire fence after spinning out on the freeway at 65 mph. With five kids in the car. Without getting a scratch. And driving through an open field and home with nary a tow truck. Miracles have not ceased.