Oh the irony!

Irony of parenting # 1:  The pain (and I'm talking strictly physical here) does not, I repeat, not end with labor.
Irony of parenting #2:  All of your children will be early risers right up until the day they start school.  At which point, it will take a foghorn to awaken them.
And #3:  They will never ever have to go to the bathroom when you give them the opportunity before leaving home.  Only when you are in the middle of Winco.  And the bathroom is on the exact opposite end of the store.  And you've got ice cream in your cart.  And then when you get there, they will insist that they no longer have the urge.  But really, they're just scared of the automatic flusher.
Am I missing any?