I.Am.So.Tired.

My toddler wakes up in the middle of the night. Pretty much every night. I can't get back to sleep for an average of 1 1/2 hours every time. Then she wakes up somewhere between 5 and 6:30 every morning (usually not long after I've finally fallen into a slumber again). I taught Joy School on Tuesday and Wednesday. I also took care of 18 kids this week (but not all at the same time) on 6 separate occasions for a grand total of 12 hours. Typically, hosting other people's children is not a "break" for me, where the kids play happily while I get chores done, though I've had an occasional playdate where that has been the case. Most of the time, my kids and I plan specific activities to keep everyone engaged, happy, and out of trouble. I simply feel better about myself when I play with the kids at least part of the time. That's just me.
I think I hit my breaking point today. I held it together right up until the last child was picked up and even pressed on through swimming lessons and dinner this evening before I broke down and put Lily to bed an hour early without a bath because she was dragging her feet (which she does, by the way, all the time). Then I cried and whined to Tim about how rotten all the kids in the world are, how tired I am of bending over to pick up toys or clean spilled milk, how tiresome it is comfort a child with hurt feelings (when I'm the one who needs comforting, too). Poor Tim. Poor me. I guess I have my limits. And I probably shouldn't be so willing to test them when I'm 7 months pregnant.
I knew this week was going to be a doozy before I hit the ground running on Monday. But I was optimistic about the outcome - because much of the time kids can actually be quite fun. They can also be emotional, messy, defiant, aggressive, and demanding. I saw both sides this week. Next time I'll try to plan a little better.
Oh, and if your kids spent any time at my house this week and they're scarred by the experience, I'm sorry. I promise I didn't yell or spank any of them. But I was no Mary Poppins either.