Self-mastery.

I find the most entertainment (while reading blog books from previous years) from my kids' antics - they just never quit! But, as the kids get older and significantly less cute, the antics have evolved somewhat. They're not quite so funny anymore - in fact, they might even qualify as depressing. I probably interpret every last weakness my children exhibit as foreshadowing of weightier matters to come and sometimes it's downright scary.

Yesterday, being the first Fast Sunday of the new year (and the first since we switched our Sunday meeting schedule to the 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. time slot), my oldest opted to skip lunch (we encourage kids who've been baptized in our family to begin fasting for one meal once a month), all with the idea that she'd be able to stuff herself silly after church. Sorry, honey. Since when does skipping food and water for 6 hours constitute a fast? Tim reminded her that she should wait until we serve dinner if she wants to fulfill her commitment to fast for one meal. She gobbled up a peanut butter sandwich.

I sat down with her later for a mother-daughter discussion. Well, actually, it was more of a lecture. But there were pictures! I outlined two choices: fasting and eating. Then we wrote down the consequences (positive and negative) for both. She was quick to point out that fasting means you have to survive an empty stomach. Woe is her.

Anyway, I don't know about her, but I sure came out of the whole thing recommitted to fasting! Fasting has always been a sore spot for me. I can remember bailing out early all the time. Self-control was kind of lost on me for a while, I guess. In recent years, now that pregnancy and nursing no longer inhibit me from fasting on a regular basis, I've come to appreciate the blessings that come from doing so.

Sure, there are health benefits, there's appreciation for regular meals, there's the development of compassion for those less fortunate, there are spiritual blessings like faith, answers to prayer, increased wisdom. I could go on and on.

Honestly, though, the benefit for which I'm most grateful is the opportunity to become a master of myself and my appetites. It used to be so agonizing to endure 24 hours without food or drink. This past Sunday, I baked and frosted Eve's birthday cake, made breakfast and lunch for the kids, and cooked dinner without even licking a finger. It was a cinch. And it was only easy because I've developed self-control over the years. It's empowering, really. It gives me strength to overcome other areas of weakness in my life and to put spiritual matters before temporal ones. I can clearly see how fasting has trained me in the ways of delayed gratification and to "seek first the kingdom of God and all things shall be added" unto me.

Okay, now I'm getting downright philosophical. I'm sad that it took me thirty plus years to appreciate the beauty of fasting. I hope that my eight-year-old gets it earlier than I. One can always hope.