Are you an extrovert?

A couple of weeks ago I had a startling revelation: being introverted and self-assured are not mutually exclusive. You see, in discussing my daughter, who cringes at the thought of introducing herself to others, I immediately judged her as lacking self-confidence. Not necessarily true.

I recalled moving from Texas to Utah the summer before my sophomore year of high school. I had met a few people at church the Sunday before school began and was lucky enough to score a ride with them my first morning. Unfortunately, I didn't know anyone who had the same lunch schedule as I. So, that first day, I walked into the lunchroom, scoured it for a group of people who looked reasonably nice, walked straight up to them, introduced myself, and asked if I could join them. It seemed the thing to do - definitely preferable to sitting all by myself - I'd rather die than do something so conspicuous.

As I retold this story to Tim, he countered it by expressing that(at least in high school) he'd rather have died than approach a group of people he didn't know - fearing the rejection that might result from that sort of interaction. Sitting alone? At least you're not putting yourself out there, making yourself vulnerable to the whims of a few high-schoolers.

I could see his point. And I laughed that all these years I thought that because I could extend myself to others it somehow meant that I was self-confident (and it's likely how it appeared to others). Really, though. Both of us were silly, insecure high schoolers. One extroverted, one introverted. I found fear and embarrassment in sitting alone in a high school cafeteria and he found his in facing potential rejection. Revelation, I tell you.