Obedience: The first law of heaven.

It started out as a routine grocery store trip. Which is, even on the best of days, never routine. They received the usual reminder of what behavior is expected of them in public - no screaming, running away from mom, picking and eating boogers - you know, everything they do at home with reckless abandon. And then we were off.

The little ones were excited to help me pick out produce - so excited that they began to fight over who would do what. So excited that Lily planted herself smack dab in front of a stack of oranges while we meandered through the rest of the produce section. So excited that she then yelled across the store "Mom, can I get this bag of oranges?" and somehow failed to notice how many times I shook my head and ushered her closer to the rest of the clan.

She must have repeated herself five or six times, the volume increasing with each request. I walked closer, warned her that if she did not quiet down and join us, she would not be able to pick out anything. She started wailing. I couldn't seem to figure out the connection between her response and what I thought to be a pretty reasonable warning. I upped the ante.

"Lily, quiet down or you will have to sit in the cart for the rest of our trip." More wailing. I was losing my temper.

"Lily, I would be happy to talk to you when you stop screaming. If you don't, though, we are leaving the store. No picking out oranges, no cookie(gotta love Albertson's freebies), no play time when you get home. You will go straight to your room."

I guess she thought that was a pretty good exchange for unleashing her worst behavior. I plopped her in the grocery cart, took the two items we had managed to pick out in the minute since we had entered the store, and rushed to the checkout. It was so bad, the man in front of us in line told her to shut her mouth. Not that it was his place to say it, but seriously, my kid can raise hell when she puts her mind to it.

You wouldn't believe how well my other three children behaved while all this went down - it was as if they were trying to compensate for the disaster that was Lily that particular morning. We made it home, stuck her in her room and found her asleep within 20 minutes.

The silver lining? I got a $9 off your next shopping trip coupon for spending less than $5. I went without the kids, of course.