I have a three-year-old. Perhaps you've heard of the "terrible twos". Personally, I think the age of three is also worthy of such a title. Let's take it up a notch and say that all parents should send their kids to boarding school from the moment they turn two until they reach their fourth birthday. Cause I don't want to have any part of raising them during these turbulent years.
Lily has brought new meaning to the word "terrible". Anna was extremely difficult at that age, but somehow more manageable for me. I knew what motivated her and I could nip the bad behavior in the bud. Sort of.
Her younger sister is a complete mystery. She's completely irrational, ready to fly off the handle at any given moment, and loud beyond your wildest imagination. What do you do with a child like that? What motivates them? Our official protocol is to leave the room (so as to minimize eardrum damage) and ignore her completely.
Today, she had a moment while we were waiting for Anna during her dance class. I was at a loss for what to do. I couldn't leave. She gets so worked up that she's unable to respond to discipline. I refuse to pacify her with bribes, knowing the long-term effects of such a tactic. If I had been at the grocery store, I would have left my cart and taken her home swiftly. If we'd been at church, I could have carried her out of the room and used the foyer as my time-out grounds. Most situations that I am in enable me to remove her from the situation until she can get a grip. Which takes an eternity for this child.
So I just sat there, ignoring her, feeling like a complete loser because I have zero control over my child. All the while, she's screaming, "Mommy, you're not listening! Mommy, I'm sick! Mommy, I'm too tired! Mommy I need a hug! No! Mommy, don't touch me! Mommy, stop watching Anna! Mommy, don't hold Rachel! Mommy, talk to me! Mommy, don't talk to me!" If you know Lily well, you know I'm not exaggerating one bit.
Fortunately for me, I carpool with two other ladies whose kids are in the same dance class, so I never again have to see the people who sat watching our display in complete disbelief. Not that it matters. But I feel relieved. At least until the next time it happens. Perhaps by then I may have tuned into how to pacify her. If not, I can just go into hiding until she turns four. Hmmmm, not a bad idea. Not a bad idea at all.
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6 comments:
Still not out of that phase huh? I wonder how long it will actually last. I'm looking forward to witnessing it myself in a couple weeks. ;)
I like corporal punishment and discipline myself.
i am with you. Sometimes there is nothing you can do. i know you aren't a bad mother. hopefully lily grows out of it sooner than amber, who is still there. = [
Jill and I can totally picture sweet Lily, out of control and saying all the things you said she said! I remember how hard it is when something like that is happening - I wish I had some suggestions for you but I think you just have to wait it out and make it through. I think you do a GREAT job with your girls. I know they are temperamental but they are soooo sweet and soooo darling. Hang in there Susie!
From now on, during moments like that I'm going to think of the grandma lady who was quoted at Sunday's Relief Society Fireside, "Stick to your guns, Momma." I challenge you to do the same. Good luck.
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